I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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