This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Randomize
