did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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