i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
