dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
