Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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