FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Randomize
