oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
