once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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