What tipped you off? The sombrero?
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
