i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Randomize
