What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
how does that bad decision feel?
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