I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
