Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
You dont lie about slip and slides
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Randomize
