i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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