HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
