He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I understand Curling. That high.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize
