chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
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