dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
