i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
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