Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
