I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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