hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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