I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
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