if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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