Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
