The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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