I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
