They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
