Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
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