Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
