you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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