Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
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