I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
