after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
you inspire me to be a worse person
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
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