dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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