can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I look excited, but its just a facade.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
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