I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
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