didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
My penis needs a shock collar
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
