if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
