I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Woke up backwards on a recliner
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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