don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
