Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
do nipples grow back?
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