Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
