No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Buhtt sex?
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
