Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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