I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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