we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Randomize
