dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
