she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
