he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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