found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
