I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
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