glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
